Diagnosed at 44: What ADHD Looks Like in Midlife
Hey friends,
It’s been a minute since I posted. Life got lifey. But I’m back, and this post is a personal one.
Recently, I was officially diagnosed with ADHD at 44.
It’s something I suspected for a while. I used to joke about my “squiggly brain,” my never-ending to-do lists that somehow grew overnight, or how I could hyperfocus for hours on one task but completely forget to move the laundry again. But getting a diagnosis wasn’t just a label. It was a deep exhale. A validation. A permission slip to start seeing myself with compassion instead of criticism.
For decades, I thought I was just bad at adulting, disorganized, forgetful, distracted, too much, too tired. I didn’t look like the ADHD stereotypes I’d grown up with. I held down jobs, raised a family, ran events, and lived a full and beautiful life. But underneath that was a constant internal chaos that didn’t make sense to anyone else and often didn’t make sense to me either.
One of the hardest parts has been struggling with executive function. It’s not just about attention, it’s about how my brain organizes, initiates, and follows through. Starting tasks can feel like climbing a mountain. Remembering things that matter, shifting gears between activities, managing time, these are things that come naturally to some, but for me, they take real effort and energy. And for years, I blamed myself for not being more efficient or consistent.
Now I understand that I wasn’t lazy or unfocused. I just had a brain that works differently. And learning that in my 40s has been both liberating and overwhelming.
There’s grief for the years spent trying to fix something that wasn’t broken, just misunderstood. But there’s also hope. Because now I can work with my brain, not against it. I can build systems that actually support me. I can show others, especially women and girls, that it’s never too late to understand yourself better.
So yes, it’s been a while since I posted. And maybe I’ll post consistently now. Or maybe I won’t, because ADHD. But I am here, learning, unlearning, and continuing to show up in my own way.
If you’ve ever felt like your brain doesn’t quite work like everyone else’s, I see you. And you’re not alone.
More soon,
Jess 💙
